these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
