my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
