I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
