yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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