so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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