i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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