my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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