I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
