When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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