Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
