were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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