So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
