EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You are the jesus of drinking
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
