At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
