I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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