you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found a bag of teeth...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You left your phone here
Wait...
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