Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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