who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just invented taco cereal.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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