he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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