me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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