He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
