how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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