It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
