Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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