take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
