woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
