It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
