And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
