I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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