All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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