so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
