it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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