pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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