i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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