My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
