Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize