we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
