She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize