the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
