At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
