Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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