oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
