I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
