What did we do last night that was yellow?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
