toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize