woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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