Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
