it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
