apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
