the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize