They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
