i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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