Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
