All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize