i think my tv is drunk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
