the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize