It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
