i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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