I am midnight drunk by noon
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Boobs are out for the taking
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
