so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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