Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
