We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
