I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I love you.
Bad choice
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