You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
