Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
