She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
